Autistic Am I

 There’s a saying in the autistic community. “If you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person” Autistic people are very different from one to the next. We all have similar struggles , communication, recognizing emotions, both in ourselves and others. Regulating those emotions is also a common challenge. I believe autism affects all of us in exactly the same way but for reasons unknown to me we all are able to deal with these affects differently. I’m not a doctor, I’ve done no studies other than living an autistic life and observing family members that are autistic as well.  This doesn’t make me an expert on autism in general but it does make me an expert on my autism. My autism isn’t readily apparent. I am a very high masking individual. I’m not high functioning. To describe me as that is to diminish my needs. I have been diagnosed as a level 3 autistic individual. Here in the US that is the most severe diagnosis of autism. In need of very substantial support...

 I have always been very adept at learning different languages . I’m not talking about English , Spanish or French.  English is the only official language that I can speak. I’m talking about languages like the language of mechanics , technology, physics or any subject that has words and phrases that are typically used to describe functions or applications of  materials within a given subject. This , I suppose , is a part of my masking. Whenever immersed in the culture of a subject , such as mechanics, I will learn words and phrases that might aid me in being a part of that culture so that I may hide my confusion when trying to learn the subject . I am a Gestalt learner so I will attempt to ingest the whole of a subject instead of following a lineal trail of knowledge that will lead me to understanding. As you can imagine this can take me quite some time. So in the interim between my ignorance and understanding of a subject I will learn and apply words and phrases so that ...

Dear Normal People,  I’m a fighter, I fight the world.  Everytime I step out into the world I have to fight against all that assaults my senses. Very often I don’t understand what people mean when they speak . So when interacting I fight the urge to turn my back and run away. I piece together in my mind bits and pieces of the  world I exist in and try to make a collage that I feel represents the reality around me , or my best guess of the reality around me. I have a high IQ, I present a person to you that likely seems as normal as any other you may have encountered so you don’t know I’m clueless and have no idea what it is your trying to tell me, not at first anyway. I have complex ideas that exist in images in my mind that move so much faster than language ever could. This makes it incredibly difficult for me to articulate to you in words everything that I have attached to any idea in my mind so what I am able to share with you of my ideas makes no sense to you. I can ex...