Work

 I’m not sure how to begin this post. I’m struggling with the possibility of being put into a situation at work that I don’t think I can handle and will end badly for me.

I was recently allowed to transfer to a position at work without oncall responsibilities. This has been helpful. In my previous position being oncall caused me alot of problems with my health , physical and mental.

Whenever I was oncall , if called in, I would be put into a position of working on machines I only had a basic knowledge of. I had assistance available via phone but because of my autism I struggle greatly to understand verbal instructions.

In my life this has been a constant . Whenever I haven’t been able to understand a persons verbal instructions after multiple attempts the person usually becomes upset with me as if I’m choosing to not understand. In an attempt to avoid someone inflicting their anger on me I will mask my “symptoms” and allow the person to think I understand.

There is a building that my new group is responsible for the maintenance of. It’s the residence of the president of the large university I work for.

The incumbent person that is responsible for the maintenance now no longer wants to work the post and has asked my supervisor that he be able to train me to work there.

This is a position that no one wants to do. The incumbent disparages the position himself. All of my coworkers do not want to work the post either.

Within my new group there are different levels of personnel. The position I hold is that of general mechanic . There are four other general mechanics in my group as well as plumbers , electricians and heating and air mechanics.

A general mechanic is a sort of first responder . We will be the 1st to respond to a request for maintenance and if it’s an issue that we aren’t able to make the repair because of a lack of knowledge we will call a “trade” to make the repair and assist as we can.

I have 11 years experience in commercial building maintenance as a general mechanic and can enable repairs that not all of the other mechanics can. The building I’m afraid l will be posted to is a residential building and I have little to no experience with the systems there.

The incumbent mechanic is an actual engineer, he will soon have his masters degree in engineering as well. He is very knowledgeable and able to make the repairs at the building with little to no help from any of the trades.

I am afraid , as with my previous position , that I will be put into a situation where I will be alone working on things I have little comprehension of and this will lead me to the type of autistic meltdown  that landed me in the emergency department this time last year.

I will be expected to relay information to tradesmen that I don’t understand via phone, then I will be expected to comprehend verbal instructions that I am unable to comprehend.

I was told by my supervisor that he may select me to man the position because of my previous experience dealing with “difficult people”.

He’s told the other four mechanics that they will not be asked to work there , it’s my perception that they aren’t being asked to work the position because of perceived deficiencies they may have in dealing with “difficult people”.

I have a reputation of taking care of the people whose area I’ve been assigned to take care of and have often received kudos in the form of written recommendations to my superiors. Despite my ability to please our customers when isolated and not able to comprehend instructions on how to make repairs I can quickly become overwhelmed.

I understand that because I mask my symptoms, they aren’t apparent to people. It’s my perception that when I do disclose my struggles I’m met with skepticism, to say the least.

I have disclosed my autism to my employer . I have received multiple accommodations from my employer. The last request for accommodation I made was that I be allowed to transfer to a position without oncall responsibilities, which I was allowed to do.

While the position in question is not an oncall position  I recognize that the struggles I had when being oncall at my previous position will be the same if assigned to the post.

The social aspects of the position would quickly become overwhelming to me. There are too many unspoken rules of the position that I cannot navigate without a great deal of anxiety.

I would be expected to communicate issues I may not understand to tradesmen . I would be expected to comprehend verbal instructions from the tradesmen via phone call that I will not be able to comprehend. 

No one in my group wants to do this job, so they may give it to me. An autistic individual with a history of negative health impacts because of what seems to be the same situation I’m being asked to do now.

Fighting for my rights as an autistic individual to get away from my previous position that was causing such harm was maybe the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I don’t know if I have the strength to do it again. I know I don’t want the negative impact that will surely come from asserting my rights and asking that  a more capable person be assigned to the post.

My employer knows that I’m autistic, I have no idea what that means to them. I have seen no evidence of any efforts to educate my supervisor or anyone I work with about autism or how it may affect someone.