Meds

 The following post is representing my experience with medications . I am not a doctor and I am not making any recommendations for anyone concerning medications.

As I understand it, there isn’t a medication available to help or change how autism affects a person.

There are however many drugs that I have learned about that help with some of the things autism causes. Anxiety is a good example of a condition that autism causes me.

I have tried several different medications for my anxiety , all through talking with my general practitioner and having him prescribe them to me.

They have all been what I would describe as “mild” anti anxiety medications. One in particular , I’ve read, is often prescribed for  people that are attempting to stop smoking. This one had little to no affects that I could recognize as beneficial .

The second and third medications I tried to help with my anxiety seemed to be much the same, that is to say I still had heightened anxiety while taking the drugs.

With my latest attempt trying to find a drug to help with my ever present anxiety I could feel no effect while on that drug either.

I’m usually very careful to coordinate coming off any of these drugs with my general practitioner as there can be harmful side effects with just quitting these type medications.

The prescription for my latest anxiety medication expired at the end of last November . I had an appointment with my GP on January 17th so I decided I would wait until then to speak with him about the latest drug and whether or not to refill the prescription.

My anxiety has always come in peaks and valleys . After stopping this latest medication I feel my anxiety stayed at peak level for an extended period of time . There was an extended period of my being well regulated before stopping this latest attempt to curb or control my anxiety.

In hindsight (common theme for me) I recognize that while I could not feel any great effects from this latest medication , it did give me a bit of pause when “that moment” happens.

“That moment” is a sort of singularity , or a point in time when I am overwhelmed with current circumstances and lose a measure of control of my emotions which in turn leads me towards an autistic meltdown.

 I don’t make a decision that sends me into the mental chaos of an autistic meltdown. It’s more like at that point in time I’m standing on the edge of a cliff and the ground falls out from beneath me. I think this latest medication gave me pause to think and stop before approaching the edge of the cliff and stay on firm ground.

I have resumed taking the medication and am feeling well regulated again.

The anxiety I feel is still always present but it feels like the medication gives me a bit of an ability to maneuver so that I may steer out of a skid.

My mind is still the same. I still consider so many possibilities with any situation. I still take things very literally. I still mask behaviors that I wish to hide from public view . I still have my stims. I am ofcourse still autistic but this medication seems to help keep me from the indescribable calamity that is an autistic meltdown. 

I don’t like the idea of having to take medications to help regulate myself but until I either don't have to communicate too much with too many people or society accepts autism I will take relief from meltdown anyway I can get it.