Communication

 I struggle with most all types of reciprocal communication, especially live conversation. If given the opportunity I am comfortable with communicating via email or text but this means that there can be no innuendo or other attempts at manipulating a conversation with improper suggestions by the person I am communicating with.

In other words , the person I may be communicating with can be held accountable for what they write in an email or text. This also removes a persons ability to use tone of voice or body language to express negative emotions they may other wise try to inflict on me.

I work for a very large organization. Manipulation through threat has been a popular form of communication and or motivation by most of my superiors here.  Typically done in ways or language that can’t be accounted for.

My employer touts they are inclusive to all people regardless of race , religion , gender or disability , and have shown this to be true through accommodations they have given me for my autism.

Despite this there are still times when a superior may use language that is aggressive, demeaning or threatening to accomplish tasks. They are careful to not relay these type interaction through email , text or any other medium where they may be held to account.

To be fair, my current supervisor has used none of these tactics and seems fair. I worry he may not last in this environment.

There are many things here that are communicated outside accountable measures and the threat of retaliation feels real. 

I’ve recently been put in a new position  that has begun to cause me problems with communication. No one has been threatening or abusive but the nature of the manner in which I’ve been told to communicate is confusing to me.

At this position there is a director over the area that has asked me to take my instruction from her. There is a subordinate of hers that takes , what seems like every opportunity ,to circumvent the director’s authority and contact me directly with instruction.

It is my job to take care of the area’s maintenance needs. When receiving different and often contradicting instructions I struggle with comprehension and feel like I falter in my duties as I don’t know exactly what to do.

The position has all the hallmarks of possible struggle for me because I am autistic. I fear if I ask to be removed from the position I could be retaliated against. My job is important to my family.

As I said my employer touts all things inclusive. There are individuals that work here  that don’t seem to agree with my employers policy of inclusion and use threat and retaliation as tools to accomplish their goals.

I have experienced these threats 1st hand from a very high ranking superior . If that sort of thing is allowed at such a high level I can only assume that it’s ok with my employer.

I don’t know how to navigate these type situations other than to allow the ongoing harm and deal with it as best as I can. Historically, keeping things inside like this have caused a lot of problems including trips to the ER with heart attack like symptoms only to discover it’s anxiety.